Why the Break is Important, Part 1

Hey all, I thought that I would take this opportunity to talk about something that I am passionate about as a lifegroup leader.  Break time.  Like everyone, I tend to suffer from having too busy of a schedule.  This last season, I had evening commitments five nights a week.  Admittedly, I overbooked myself, but I thoroughly enjoyed this lifegroup season!  I am proud to look back on the season and see that I made it through everything successfully.  A few key things made this possible:

1.  The season was just that.  A season.  I knew that I was overbooking myself, but I also knew that it would be a temporary condition – eight weeks.  Because the season ends, I knew that I had relief coming from the schedule that I created.  I got a lot accomplished in a short time and I learned a lot from the season.
2. I didn’t lead alone.  I know that we have talked about this before, but personally, I just have to mention it.  I get help from different guys in my group on so many areas – hosting, praying, coordinating our fun activities, calling and follow-up, and organizing group communication – I couldn’t keep leading every season if I didn’t get help with it all.
3. I set the season up for success by using the break well before the season even started.  Break time is for rest and that is important as a leader, but it is also a time to do so much more to get ready for the next season.  I do three important things during the break:  Rest, Reflect, and Refocus.

Come back tomorrow for part 2 and I will explain what I mean.

Michael Inman
Abundant Life Church
Small Groups Director
michael@coolchurch.com

How to stay connected during the break between seasons!

When waiting for the tube (subway) in London there is a warning at the station that says, “Mind the gap.”  It’s a warning to pay attention to the space between the train and the platform so you don’t fall.  As a lifegroup leader I want to encourage you to mind the gap, or the break, between lifegroup seasons.  The break between lifegroup seasons is designed to do the following:

• Provide you and your group members an opportunity to rest and refresh before starting again.
• Provide easy on-ramps and off-ramps to get into or out of a group.
• Create spiritual momentum in our church as we prepare to start a new season together.

Even though your group is not having an official meeting during the break, that doesn’t mean that you need to stop building momentum and relationships with your group into next season.  So here are a few practical ways that as a lifegroup leader you can mind the gap between seasons and build momentum in your group.

1.  As a leader commit to meeting one on one with each of your group members over coffee, lunch, or breakfast.  This is a great way to connect with group members in a unique way and hear what is going on in their lives.

2.  Attend a church event together.  Abundant Life has some great events coming up such as Worship Night, Women’s Christmas Breakfast, and the Men’s Winter Brunch.  Commit to attending and sitting together.  You can find out more at http://www.coolchurch.com/events

3.  Plan a couple of fun gatherings for your group during the break.  Get together for diner, games, a sporting event, or take in one of the many Christmas offerings around the city together.

4.  Host a prayer gathering.  Your group can gather for an evening of prayer.  You can spend time praying for each other and for our church as we prepare for a new year together.

5.  SERVE together. 

Use the break between seasons as an opportunity to catch a breath and recharge your batteries for next season.  But you can also use the break as an opportunity to build closer friendships with those in the group.  So look for ways to connect with the people in your group.  Keep it flexible and keep it fun.  Just because your group is not meeting does not mean that friendships take a break.

 

Believing in Others

Can you think of a time when someone believed in you?  Maybe they encouraged you to take a step you didn’t think you could take.  Maybe they gave you the courage to try something you were afraid to do.  Maybe they gave you the confidence to get back up and try one more time.  Maybe they gave you the determination to never give up.

There is great power that comes from the affirmation of another human being who communicates their unwavering belief in us.  It’s propels us to new heights and to take risks that we never thought possible.

You see this all throughout the Bible.  Jesus believed in his disciples so much that he was willing to send them out to minister in His name (Luke 9).  And their ministry changed the world.  Paul believed in Timothy (1Timothy 4) and sent him out and the church rapidly expanded.

So here are two questions.  Who in your group do you believe in?  Do those in your group know you believe in them?

Here are some simple ways you can practice believing in others as a lifegroup leader:

1.  Affirm leadership potential.  Whenever you see someone taking a step or demonstrating leadership potential in your group encourage them.  Let them know what you see.

2.  Give appropriate opportunities.  Look for aspects of leading a group that you can hand off.  Be willing to share the responsibility of your group to others.

3.  Send them out.  This is often the hardest step for most small group leaders.  The reason is it demands change.  But this step is necessary for expanded kingdom impact.  Jesus understood this when he sent out the disciples.  Paul understood this when he sent out Timothy.  The ending process of discipleship is the sending out of disciples to make other disciples.

So who are you believing in this season?

The Law of Addition…How to add value to those in your group

As a Pastoral Staff we are reading The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership, by John Maxwell.  This week we looked at the Law of Addition.  This law says that good leaders add value to the lives of the people they lead.  It’s not just about accomplishing goals and checking tasks off of a task list.  Leadership is about people.  And the role of the leader is to add value to others.  Leaders do this by serving others.

This is a great truth for lifegroup leaders.  As a lifegroup leader how are you adding value to those in your group?  How are you serving them and demonstrating that you care more for them as individuals then simply leading a meeting each week.  Here are a few practical ways that you can add value to those in your group this season.

1.  Listen Actively...try to hear what is really going on in the lives of those in your group.  Ask follow up questions and listen to their needs and concerns.

2.  Pursue Relationships...try to meet with group members outside of the group meeting for coffee, lunch, or an activity.  The gift of your time demonstrates care and allows you the opportunity to get to know group members on a deeper level.

3.  Pray Attentively...Set aside time during the week to pray specifically for your group members.  Practice praying for group members on a regular basis rather than just during your group meeting.  Then let them know you are praying for them.

4.  Provide Growth Opportunities…Look for appropriate next growth steps for group members and encourage them to take the next step.

5.  Be the first to Serve...As the leader you can model service to your group.  When a need arises be the first to take a meal.  Be the first to visit.  Be the first to give.  Be the first to pray.  Model servant-hood to your group.

As a group leader constantly look for ways to add value to the lives of those you lead in your group.  When your group members know that you really care about what’s going on in their live they will be more open to God’s growing work in their lives.

Preparing Your Lifegroup for Next Season!

You started up a new lifegroup.  Things are growing great.  People are connecting.  Growth is taking place.  You are half way through the season.  How do you keep the momentum in your group going?  Answer:  As the leader begin now to prepare for the next season.  It’s never to early to start thinking about what’s next.  Here are a few ways you can begin preparing your group for what’s next.

1.  Commit Now to Leading Again!  Growth often takes time and consistency.  It’s not microwaved.  So commit now to continuing the growth journey next season.  Your group will take their cues from you.  If they know you are committed, chances are they will commit as well.  So let your group know now that you plan to continue next season.

2.  Plan Your Group Details Now!  Don’t put off  deciding on your group details such as time, location, day of the week, etc.  Plan ahead.  If you need to make a change the earlier you decide the better.  This allows your group members the ability to commit earlier rather than later.

3.  Talk Up Next Season!  Begin to talk about what you look forward to next season.  This allows your group members the opportunity to look past just this season and gives them something to look forward to.

4.  Discuss Curriculum!  We will provide you with some suggestions for next season soon, but allow your group members to give feedback into what topics or studies they might like to explore together next season.

5.  Look to Multiply!  This is especially important if your group is full this season.  Look for and encourage those in your group who are ready to take the next step to consider starting a new group next season.  This will create new opportunities for those in the church to get connected and allow everyone in your group the opportunity to get to know new people next season.

6.  Take a Break so you will Be Refreshed!  Be sure to take a break from your regular meeting at the end of the season as you prepare for next season.  This does not mean you have to break from the friendships in the group.  Just your regular meeting time.  Do some fun things together, go out to dinner, have a game night.  It’s kind of like Christmas break in school.  It gives everyone a chance to recharge before diving back in next season.

We want you to last the long haul so that those in your lifegroup will continue to benefit from you leadership!

Deepening relationships by increasing care

When you start a new lifegroup or are introducing new people into an existing lifegroup, one of your goals as a leader should be to help the group form strong relationships with each other.  This will open up a deeper level of sharing and trust in the group.  Now relationships grow best organically, but there are some things that you can do as the group leader to help a group open up and develop deeper relationships with each other.  The best way is to develop a culture of CARE in the group. The Bible says in Ephesians 4:32 “…be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.”

Here are a few ways that you as the leader can help your group deepen relationships with one another by developing a culture of CARE.

1. Invest Time Outside of the group.  Care is best spelled TIME.  So take some time to connect with people in the group for coffee, or lunch, or simply meet them in the routine of their life just to spend time together.  You may need to be intentional with planning your calendar.
2. PRAY right away when something comes up.  Here is a good tip.  When tears emerge in your group that is a good time to stop everything and pray.  You don’t have to wait until the end to pray.  If someone is sharing about a big struggle in their life, simply pause the study to pray for that person before moving on.
3. Encourage Follow up during the week.  If someone in your group needs some extra support and care encourage the group to take turns checking in with them during the week.  You might assign each person a day to make a call or a visit and to pray.
4. Meet Practical Needs if possible.  Look for practical ways that your group can care for each other.  This might mean making a hospital visit if someone is sick, sending a card, mowing a lawn, paying a bill, providing babysitting so a couple can go on a date.  Look for hands on ways your group can care for each other.
5. As the Leader…Model vulnerability.  Your group will be as open and honest about the reality of their life as you are with them.  So don’t be afraid to share your own story and struggles with your group.

When the level of care goes up in your group, walls will begin to come down and deeper relationships will begin to form.

Feel free to share other ways that groups can deepen relationships with one another by developing a culture of care in the comments below.

Tips for raising the value of prayer in your group!

Prayer is an very important part of any small group experience.  Prayer allows group members to care for each other.  Prayer teaches group members to trust Jesus more.  Prayer encourages spiritual growth as group member develop the habit of connecting with Jesus on a regular basis.  Here are a few practical ways that leaders can help raise the value of prayer in their groups.

1. Pray Immediately!  When someone shares a concern in their life during the discussion ask the group to pray for the concern immediately.  Don’t wait until the end.
2. Sub-Group!  Practice breaking into smaller groups during the prayer time so everyone has a chance to share.  This works well in mixed gender groups where the men and the women can break into two groups to pray for each other.
3. Encourage On-Going prayer!  Have someone write down all of the prayer requests and then send them out to the group the next day.  Or encourage group members to pair up so they can pray for each other during the week.  This encourages prayer to continue between meetings.
4. Give Time for Prayer!  Allowing group members to share requests and then taking time to pray takes some time.  Be sure to plan an appropriate amount of time during your meetings for prayer.
5. Mix It Up!  Don’t make prayer a routine by just closing out your evening with one person praying.  Get creative with different ways to pray.  Break into different groups.  Have people write a prayer request and then drop names of who you will pray for.  Pray popcorn prayers as a group (short prayers around the room).
6. Make It a Priority!  When the group leader makes it a priority it will become a priority for the group.

How do groups face challenges together? They SERVE!

Challenges will happen in your group this season.  When real people who live on a broken planet commit to growing together in community, life happens.  And sometimes life is challenging.  Someone in your group will get some bad news, experience loss, experience a relational difficulty, have a health challenge, etc.  Challenges will come.  When the challenges of life show up in your group how should the group respond?  Let me give you one word.  SERVE.  Jesus modeled selfless serving all throughout the New Testament.  He met the needs of those who faced challenges all around him.  Our groups should be a place where people can come and experience care in the midst of life’s challenges as group members learn to serve one another as Jesus did.  This video gives some great input on how you can lead your group to face the challenges of life with care together.

Great Practical Tips for Lifegroup Leaders

Here are some great practical tips for lifegroup leaders from Pastor Steve Gladen from Saddleback Church as you prepare to start a new season.

 

GROUPS THAT PLAY TOGETHER…GROW TOGETHER

Lots of times when lifegroups get together the primary focus is on the study.  The study is an important part of the group experience as it helps to guide the spiritual direction of the group.  But taking time to play together as a group will help to deepen the group experience as well.  Playing together as a group has the following benefits that contribute to the growth of the group:

1.  Playing as a group builds trust in the group.
2.  Playing as a group creates a more relaxed environment for friendships to grow.
3.  Playing together as a group also creates long lasting shared experiences and memories.

Group members might not remember what you talked about in week 3 of the study, but they will always remember the time your group laughed late into the evening playing a game together.  The reality is 12 hours of play has the potential grow the relationships in your group more than 12 weeks of study.  So here are a few practical ways you can elevate the value of play in your lifegroup this season:

1.  PLAY EARLY!  This is especially important if you have a newer group or people don’t know each other very well.  Plan to do something fun in the first two weeks of the season so people have a chance to really get to know each other.

2.  START EACH MEETING WITH FUN!  I heard a story of a group that started every lifegroup meeting with a short game.  This is a great way to build memories into every group meeting.  Think of how you can bring some fun into the beginning or end of each meeting.

3.  CELEBRATE THE PEOPLE IN THE GROUP!  Look for ways during the season to celebrate people in the group.  You might choose someone from the group each week to sit in a chair of honor and have everyone share what they appreciate about that person.  When someone in your group has a birthday, graduates, closes a big deal at work, buys a house, etc…celebrate that as a group.  Look for ways to celebrate and honor people.

4.  END THE SEASON WITH A PARTY!  A great way to bring closure to your season is to throw an end of the season party.  You can do a big game night, go out to dinner together, etc.  At the party take some time to share stories of growth that people in the group have taken and look for ways to affirm and honor your group members.

5.  PLAN TO PLAY!  Finally, whatever you do to PLAY together as a group don’t forget to plan for it.  Without giving some thought and direction to how your group will grow by playing this season it’s easy to miss it.  So do some brainstorming, write down some ideas, talk to your group about it, and look for someone in your group to help you champion play for your group.

6.  HAVE A BLAST!